Expansion
Everyone, welcome Greg to my blog.
He commented, I went to his blog, looked through his archives until I hit an AIM address and talked to him for maybe an hour. I like him. Nice kid, good sense of humor.
Friend of Blue.
Lisa, come home!
Nuff said. She gets home Sunday? I hope I'm right. I am taking her out to eat. *misses*
I saw Pip yesterday, helped to cheer me up.
Boom
I got the knack of the .38 I think. Helps to make my day better, feeling slightly proficient at a skill. My dad and uncle Tom are better, but I also shot a heck of a lot faster. 9 rounds in seven seconds.
I also put a hole through a playing card at one hundred meters with the Garand. Made me real freakin' happy. The five of spades.
Its nice to blog, eh?
Post-Posty!
-Matt
"Woe!"
Friday, December 31, 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
One Mad-Ass Long Time
Approximately the distance between two post can be measured in time. I measure it in Games.
^-^
Christmas
Jesus was such a cool dude. I mean, he was born on christmas.
So, whaddid I get?
I still haven't been to my Aunt Sharons house, so I might have a few gifts, possible a biggun at her place. Don't know when we are gonna make it over there.
Here's the list.
160$
256 mb SanDisk Flash USB Drive
Doom 3 (Beat it today, good game, scary as hell)
George Carlin - Napalm and Silly Putty (book, finished it yesterday)
George Carlin - When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops (book)
We Were Soldiers Once and Young (Book, aint getting it to look at the authors)
Mini-Maglight (On my belt right now)
Franz-Ferdinand (Self-titled CD)
12-Pack of Coke
Boxers
Black Slacks and Dress Shirt (I am a dark lord.)
It was great.
Not as great as the night before.
Why?
Snow.
We live in Texas.
I have seen snow once.
I was in kindergarten, and naturally, I was outside runnign around like an idiot with my cable cut off. So, as I run around, I notice something. I am a little under three feet tall. The snow is melting a little over 5 feet off the ground. I didn't touch it once.
So, Jenny and I were messing around, bored, reading blogs. It had been sleeting, and we had been acting like complete morons, pretending it was snow. There were itsy-bitsy snowflakes. Not much of snow, really, it had no chance to stay on the ground. We made a sleet-ball and a sleet-man, but they weren't all that great.
We went outside to check on the progress of the sleet, and we saw something we couldn't believe.
Huge frickin' snowflakes.
It fricking snowed, and we hade a fricking white christmas.
It was awesome.
There was a downside.
Here-way s-iay isa-Lay?
Vermont. I think that's where she is anyway. Somewhere cold. Somewhere she was hoping they would havea white christmas. HA!!
She wont be back for a while, and I miss her a bunch. I am rather addicted to her, and not just her hugs. Talking with her is freakin' cool, just because she is Lisa, and I am Matt, and we work well at that point.
I really wanted to be with Lisa in the snow.
I miss her a bunch, and its been less than a week. I'm sorry if I'm a whiney prick, but Lisa is... special to me, and important too.
I can't wait for her to be back.
Now, a good Carlin quote to end with... hmmm...
"These days politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people."
-Bravo
Approximately the distance between two post can be measured in time. I measure it in Games.
^-^
Christmas
Jesus was such a cool dude. I mean, he was born on christmas.
So, whaddid I get?
I still haven't been to my Aunt Sharons house, so I might have a few gifts, possible a biggun at her place. Don't know when we are gonna make it over there.
Here's the list.
160$
256 mb SanDisk Flash USB Drive
Doom 3 (Beat it today, good game, scary as hell)
George Carlin - Napalm and Silly Putty (book, finished it yesterday)
George Carlin - When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops (book)
We Were Soldiers Once and Young (Book, aint getting it to look at the authors)
Mini-Maglight (On my belt right now)
Franz-Ferdinand (Self-titled CD)
12-Pack of Coke
Boxers
Black Slacks and Dress Shirt (I am a dark lord.)
It was great.
Not as great as the night before.
Why?
Snow.
We live in Texas.
I have seen snow once.
I was in kindergarten, and naturally, I was outside runnign around like an idiot with my cable cut off. So, as I run around, I notice something. I am a little under three feet tall. The snow is melting a little over 5 feet off the ground. I didn't touch it once.
So, Jenny and I were messing around, bored, reading blogs. It had been sleeting, and we had been acting like complete morons, pretending it was snow. There were itsy-bitsy snowflakes. Not much of snow, really, it had no chance to stay on the ground. We made a sleet-ball and a sleet-man, but they weren't all that great.
We went outside to check on the progress of the sleet, and we saw something we couldn't believe.
Huge frickin' snowflakes.
It fricking snowed, and we hade a fricking white christmas.
It was awesome.
There was a downside.
Here-way s-iay isa-Lay?
Vermont. I think that's where she is anyway. Somewhere cold. Somewhere she was hoping they would havea white christmas. HA!!
She wont be back for a while, and I miss her a bunch. I am rather addicted to her, and not just her hugs. Talking with her is freakin' cool, just because she is Lisa, and I am Matt, and we work well at that point.
I really wanted to be with Lisa in the snow.
I miss her a bunch, and its been less than a week. I'm sorry if I'm a whiney prick, but Lisa is... special to me, and important too.
I can't wait for her to be back.
Now, a good Carlin quote to end with... hmmm...
"These days politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people."
-Bravo
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Post I will, Jenny.
So. Of Lisa then.
Isa-Lay.
Lisa is wonderful. She is still quite herself, and although I haven't really talkedto her yet, I enjoy her company quite a bit. I hope this goes on for a while. I would like that. A whole bunch.
I shall not expound uselessy on this.
Lue-Bay.
Blue is the nub around here. An interesting fellow with interesting friends and a decent sense of humor. I invited him here after he showed up on Jenny's blog. He seems interesting. He's a freshman I think, yet so much smarter than hook. I don't know much about him.
Tell us more about you Blue? More on interests and such. And on another note, are you gay? Don't mean to offend, but you made comments about people calling you a foggot and that offending you, and that woul;d be a logical conclusion for an outsider to make, eh?
Okay, that's it!
So. Of Lisa then.
Isa-Lay.
Lisa is wonderful. She is still quite herself, and although I haven't really talkedto her yet, I enjoy her company quite a bit. I hope this goes on for a while. I would like that. A whole bunch.
I shall not expound uselessy on this.
Lue-Bay.
Blue is the nub around here. An interesting fellow with interesting friends and a decent sense of humor. I invited him here after he showed up on Jenny's blog. He seems interesting. He's a freshman I think, yet so much smarter than hook. I don't know much about him.
Tell us more about you Blue? More on interests and such. And on another note, are you gay? Don't mean to offend, but you made comments about people calling you a foggot and that offending you, and that woul;d be a logical conclusion for an outsider to make, eh?
Okay, that's it!
Friday, December 03, 2004
Okay.
So, I asked Lisa out today. I wanted to talk to her during lunch, but she had a test or something, and as a result was not there. So, I wanted to reach a level of privacy; I had her come up to the booth with me to look at the lights. Then I asked her what her schedule was, and if she would like to do something with me tomorrow.
She said sure.
I expected her to react, but Lisa is just a smooth operator. At the time though, I was afraid she misunderstood me.
"You know I mean like a date, right?"
"Yeah."
'Twas 1337.
That will be all.
-Matt
So, I asked Lisa out today. I wanted to talk to her during lunch, but she had a test or something, and as a result was not there. So, I wanted to reach a level of privacy; I had her come up to the booth with me to look at the lights. Then I asked her what her schedule was, and if she would like to do something with me tomorrow.
She said sure.
I expected her to react, but Lisa is just a smooth operator. At the time though, I was afraid she misunderstood me.
"You know I mean like a date, right?"
"Yeah."
'Twas 1337.
That will be all.
-Matt
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Wow, I think I might start blogging regularly.
That would be nice, eh? I like to blog. Its good fun, and it is a good way to analyze things. I think, anyway.
Today...
... was interesting to say the least. First period I won a bag of delicous cookies. It was one of those little things where the class divides into groups and your group has to give a 3 minute speech on why you should get the cookies. At the end each person votes. And you can't vote for your group. I thought up most of the ideas, some basic presentation ideas, and did all the speaking. We won hardcore. It was fun.
Spanish was a blah period. I felt dead. I hate that class.
Math was good, but I didn't get to take my test this morning. That was a bad thing, kinda.
After school, I went to hang out at RadioShack with Robert. Twas fun. We played with an RCA care in the parking lot, and I eventually jumped it on tope of my car.
Then, I went to school for rehearsal. And the lights are painfully screwed up. From Mister Buc, methinks. I hope Anthony saved the scheme. If not I have to spend an hour or two re-patching everything.
I wanted to show Lisa some things with the lightboard. I wanted to be around Lisa, more than anything else. I feel pretty consistent about liking Lisa. And, I feel asking her out is most definetly worth any risk to my pride. Which was shot to peices when I was struck helpless by the changes in the lightboard. I felt like such a dumbass. Ah, well. I need to talk to her today or tomorrow. I need to talk to her alone. Because there are some things you just have to say in some semblance of privacy, whether it be quietly to the person next to you on a noisy bus or what. I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing it around other people. I would rather do this sooner than later. Its a burden that is becoming heavier all the time.
I don't want to have this build up like with the Callan thing. That was not good for me at all. At all. I live on, better for it probobly.
Lisa is a special person. I want to take her out sometime. T'would mean alot to me. Tomorrow if the oppurtuity arises. Friday I will, come hell, high water, or promise of embarassment.
Ah well, we'll see.
-Matt
That would be nice, eh? I like to blog. Its good fun, and it is a good way to analyze things. I think, anyway.
Today...
... was interesting to say the least. First period I won a bag of delicous cookies. It was one of those little things where the class divides into groups and your group has to give a 3 minute speech on why you should get the cookies. At the end each person votes. And you can't vote for your group. I thought up most of the ideas, some basic presentation ideas, and did all the speaking. We won hardcore. It was fun.
Spanish was a blah period. I felt dead. I hate that class.
Math was good, but I didn't get to take my test this morning. That was a bad thing, kinda.
After school, I went to hang out at RadioShack with Robert. Twas fun. We played with an RCA care in the parking lot, and I eventually jumped it on tope of my car.
Then, I went to school for rehearsal. And the lights are painfully screwed up. From Mister Buc, methinks. I hope Anthony saved the scheme. If not I have to spend an hour or two re-patching everything.
I wanted to show Lisa some things with the lightboard. I wanted to be around Lisa, more than anything else. I feel pretty consistent about liking Lisa. And, I feel asking her out is most definetly worth any risk to my pride. Which was shot to peices when I was struck helpless by the changes in the lightboard. I felt like such a dumbass. Ah, well. I need to talk to her today or tomorrow. I need to talk to her alone. Because there are some things you just have to say in some semblance of privacy, whether it be quietly to the person next to you on a noisy bus or what. I just wouldn't feel comfortable doing it around other people. I would rather do this sooner than later. Its a burden that is becoming heavier all the time.
I don't want to have this build up like with the Callan thing. That was not good for me at all. At all. I live on, better for it probobly.
Lisa is a special person. I want to take her out sometime. T'would mean alot to me. Tomorrow if the oppurtuity arises. Friday I will, come hell, high water, or promise of embarassment.
Ah well, we'll see.
-Matt
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Another Post? Already? It's not been 5 years yet!
Isa-Lay
So, I talked to Tony yesterday. I informed him of his deadline. He was confused. When I clarified that he had X amount of time to ask Lisa out, he remarked that "Well, tell whoever that they can cut in line." It's not that he has given up on Lisa, but that he can't believe she is interested. So I am left in a most interesting situation. Although Tony doesn't mind if I ask out Lisa, Lisa may still have a thing for Tony. If so, I might be putting myself in a place I shouldn't be by...
Oh, yes you need that don't you if you are to understand this? Well, unless you're as daft as a doorknob, you have probobly noticed me raving about Lisa. I find that I like her and would like to go out with her sometime. However, I would request most kindly of you that you do not inform her of this, I would like to do so in my own time and way, if I indeed decide that I truly need to inform her. If she has strong feelings for Tony, I don't want to get into an odd relationship with her. So, anyway.
...asking Lisa out when she still feels things for Tony. Jenny has pointed out that she believes Lisa only likes Tony because Tony likes her, and Tony is cute. And by the way, Tony asked out Angela Saunders. That should be interesting. I kinda hope Jenny is right. Because although I am not that cute, I do like Lisa. I think I touched on most of the things down in my last post. Wow, that was only yesterday. What a long day.
I want to teach Lisa and Jenny about electricity and lighting. They are two things that help alot with being a techie. And i like to teach people things that might help them out later on.
Also, about techie things and Lisa, I want to have her help me up in the booth during Macbeth. I don't think I have enough hands for the fog and the lights and the sound. And I would like the company.
I feel almost as if I am way outta my league. Lisa is... just one of those people who for some reason seems intimidating. I dunno. Maybe I'm jsut messed up. We'll see soon. Hopefully by Friday.
I intend to ask Lisa if she would like to do something after Madrigal Friday or before Madrigal Saturday. With me.
So, there is one entire post about Lisa. I'm pathetic. And nervous. But, hell, I'm smiling.
-Matt
Isa-Lay
So, I talked to Tony yesterday. I informed him of his deadline. He was confused. When I clarified that he had X amount of time to ask Lisa out, he remarked that "Well, tell whoever that they can cut in line." It's not that he has given up on Lisa, but that he can't believe she is interested. So I am left in a most interesting situation. Although Tony doesn't mind if I ask out Lisa, Lisa may still have a thing for Tony. If so, I might be putting myself in a place I shouldn't be by...
Oh, yes you need that don't you if you are to understand this? Well, unless you're as daft as a doorknob, you have probobly noticed me raving about Lisa. I find that I like her and would like to go out with her sometime. However, I would request most kindly of you that you do not inform her of this, I would like to do so in my own time and way, if I indeed decide that I truly need to inform her. If she has strong feelings for Tony, I don't want to get into an odd relationship with her. So, anyway.
...asking Lisa out when she still feels things for Tony. Jenny has pointed out that she believes Lisa only likes Tony because Tony likes her, and Tony is cute. And by the way, Tony asked out Angela Saunders. That should be interesting. I kinda hope Jenny is right. Because although I am not that cute, I do like Lisa. I think I touched on most of the things down in my last post. Wow, that was only yesterday. What a long day.
I want to teach Lisa and Jenny about electricity and lighting. They are two things that help alot with being a techie. And i like to teach people things that might help them out later on.
Also, about techie things and Lisa, I want to have her help me up in the booth during Macbeth. I don't think I have enough hands for the fog and the lights and the sound. And I would like the company.
I feel almost as if I am way outta my league. Lisa is... just one of those people who for some reason seems intimidating. I dunno. Maybe I'm jsut messed up. We'll see soon. Hopefully by Friday.
I intend to ask Lisa if she would like to do something after Madrigal Friday or before Madrigal Saturday. With me.
So, there is one entire post about Lisa. I'm pathetic. And nervous. But, hell, I'm smiling.
-Matt
Monday, November 29, 2004
Back to the post...
I need to post, so I will. I guess I should probobly start with a few updates. Sarah and I have broken up. She had a good reason, certainly one you can't argue with, and that is the end of that. She is a friend. All is well. Half-Life two is out, I played it, beat it, liked it. I am waiting for 3.
So, what now?
I felt kinda wierd after I brok up with Sarah. I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I want to keep dating. I think that I am ready. I was only hurt at the very beginning, and that was more confusion and fear than actual pain.
I felt kinda lost, honestly. I like having a girlfriend. Someone you can talk to, hang out with, and trust. I think I enjoy the trust most of all. Knowing that you are trusted by someone else and that they can trust you freakin' rocks. Sometimes people abuse that trust. It's true. I don't think I could ever see myself doing that. Protecting the trust someone has placed in me makes me feel far too good to risk losing it.
Convention helped alot for a few reasons. I got to talk to Jenny alot. That helped. She wasn't quite sure what to do about anything else either. I also talked to Lisa, and spent a lot of time with her, and that was a really big help.
Lisa is a great person to talk things out with. She is friendly, doesn't take cheap shots when you expose how vulnerable you are. She is sweet about things. A good freind to talk to. We were talking about Sarah a bunch, and that was interesting. Then we just started talking about how we relate to friends in general, and she said something that really struck home with me. She spoke of how she was proud of the fact that she was really really protective of her friends. I like doing that too. I wish I could be more protective of more of my freinds. I don't want ot be too obvious about how protective I am of some of them, because that could easily be very creepy. But I am really protective of alot of you guys. Somebody messes with you, I want to know exactely who the hell they think they are messing with one of you. I want to just rain down on them with all I have when they say something to make you cry.
A really good example is the Gracie chick from Jenny's blog. Shows up out of no-where and is supportive of Jenny on the eleventh, and is saying incredibly hurtful things by the twentieth. First off, I don't know who the hell she is. Neither does Jenny. She says she knewJenny in the eigth grade. She says things about watching Owen and Jenny together. Thats creepy. Then she says things that are entirely inappropriate to Jenny. I won't mention them, but they were more than enough to set me off. I spent saturday with Jenny, making sure she was all right. I felt good becuase I thought I was there for her. But at the same time, I want to have a serious talk with this Gracie chick. She's on the outside looking in at Jenny's life; she does not have the authority to think about calling the shots. She isn't Jenny's "personal moral director" (phillip said that) and has no right to say a damned thing to Jenny, especially something gear at being hurtful.
Lisa
Jenny
Manuel
Brittany
Bellami
Phillip
Zack
These are all people (but not all the people) that I would raise hell over if someone was hurting them malicously. I admit, when I get protective of somebody, I stay that way.
When Lisa said that, a few things clicked into thier respective places in my head. How I felt about some things and about some people just finally found confirmation in me. It helped alot.
When Lisa started crying after the Manuel incident, I wished so bad I could make whatever it is stop hurting. Phillip has an idea of what it may be, but that's the kind of thing I don't want to make assumptions about. Seeing pain like that from Lisa is something I did NOT expect. I was taken aback a bit. I just wish I could make her not hurt, or at least to be there for her when she does.
I'm tired, but I'm alright.
Just gotta keep going.
-Matt
I need to post, so I will. I guess I should probobly start with a few updates. Sarah and I have broken up. She had a good reason, certainly one you can't argue with, and that is the end of that. She is a friend. All is well. Half-Life two is out, I played it, beat it, liked it. I am waiting for 3.
So, what now?
I felt kinda wierd after I brok up with Sarah. I didn't quite know what to do with myself. I want to keep dating. I think that I am ready. I was only hurt at the very beginning, and that was more confusion and fear than actual pain.
I felt kinda lost, honestly. I like having a girlfriend. Someone you can talk to, hang out with, and trust. I think I enjoy the trust most of all. Knowing that you are trusted by someone else and that they can trust you freakin' rocks. Sometimes people abuse that trust. It's true. I don't think I could ever see myself doing that. Protecting the trust someone has placed in me makes me feel far too good to risk losing it.
Convention helped alot for a few reasons. I got to talk to Jenny alot. That helped. She wasn't quite sure what to do about anything else either. I also talked to Lisa, and spent a lot of time with her, and that was a really big help.
Lisa is a great person to talk things out with. She is friendly, doesn't take cheap shots when you expose how vulnerable you are. She is sweet about things. A good freind to talk to. We were talking about Sarah a bunch, and that was interesting. Then we just started talking about how we relate to friends in general, and she said something that really struck home with me. She spoke of how she was proud of the fact that she was really really protective of her friends. I like doing that too. I wish I could be more protective of more of my freinds. I don't want ot be too obvious about how protective I am of some of them, because that could easily be very creepy. But I am really protective of alot of you guys. Somebody messes with you, I want to know exactely who the hell they think they are messing with one of you. I want to just rain down on them with all I have when they say something to make you cry.
A really good example is the Gracie chick from Jenny's blog. Shows up out of no-where and is supportive of Jenny on the eleventh, and is saying incredibly hurtful things by the twentieth. First off, I don't know who the hell she is. Neither does Jenny. She says she knewJenny in the eigth grade. She says things about watching Owen and Jenny together. Thats creepy. Then she says things that are entirely inappropriate to Jenny. I won't mention them, but they were more than enough to set me off. I spent saturday with Jenny, making sure she was all right. I felt good becuase I thought I was there for her. But at the same time, I want to have a serious talk with this Gracie chick. She's on the outside looking in at Jenny's life; she does not have the authority to think about calling the shots. She isn't Jenny's "personal moral director" (phillip said that) and has no right to say a damned thing to Jenny, especially something gear at being hurtful.
Lisa
Jenny
Manuel
Brittany
Bellami
Phillip
Zack
These are all people (but not all the people) that I would raise hell over if someone was hurting them malicously. I admit, when I get protective of somebody, I stay that way.
When Lisa said that, a few things clicked into thier respective places in my head. How I felt about some things and about some people just finally found confirmation in me. It helped alot.
When Lisa started crying after the Manuel incident, I wished so bad I could make whatever it is stop hurting. Phillip has an idea of what it may be, but that's the kind of thing I don't want to make assumptions about. Seeing pain like that from Lisa is something I did NOT expect. I was taken aback a bit. I just wish I could make her not hurt, or at least to be there for her when she does.
I'm tired, but I'm alright.
Just gotta keep going.
-Matt
Thursday, October 21, 2004
*sigh*
I would be lying if I said I wasn't just the slightest bit irritated. I learned from Sarah today that she will not be going to Festival. This is not a good thing. Apparently her father, Mr. Williams has decided that after looking at my blog post from almost a year ago that he should ban me without further review.
This is honestly quite irritating.
Much more than irritating as a matter of fact, it comes close to flat out angering me. It appears that I will not get a fair chance at this.
>.<
So, in order to hopefully resolve this situation, I have a proposal in mind.
Mr. Williams, I would like you to e-mail me at pwmouse@gmail.com and kindly explain your objections to me. I would really like to hear them. Because I don't know why I am fighting with you, what I am fighting with you over, or if I am even fighting you at all. I accept the possibility that this isn't even about me.
As far as I know, you have essentially banned your daughter from all access with me. You haven't met me, sir, and not for lack of trying on my part. I truly hate to use the cliche, but you honestly do not know me. I look back on the posts that you have used to construct your version of me and I honestly do not see myself.
I do, however, see your point of view. Although I do not agree with it, I do see your view. My sister is dating a 6'2" 250lb gun dealer. He is a nice guy. I am a nice guy. Give me a chance.
E-mail me, sir. Even if you don't like me, I don't see any reason for you to disrespect me by ignoring me. Respect is a two-way street, and I admit I have trouble driving down this straight and narrow road. However, I am trying. Are you?
E-mail me, sir.
>.<
Mouse
I would be lying if I said I wasn't just the slightest bit irritated. I learned from Sarah today that she will not be going to Festival. This is not a good thing. Apparently her father, Mr. Williams has decided that after looking at my blog post from almost a year ago that he should ban me without further review.
This is honestly quite irritating.
Much more than irritating as a matter of fact, it comes close to flat out angering me. It appears that I will not get a fair chance at this.
>.<
So, in order to hopefully resolve this situation, I have a proposal in mind.
Mr. Williams, I would like you to e-mail me at pwmouse@gmail.com and kindly explain your objections to me. I would really like to hear them. Because I don't know why I am fighting with you, what I am fighting with you over, or if I am even fighting you at all. I accept the possibility that this isn't even about me.
As far as I know, you have essentially banned your daughter from all access with me. You haven't met me, sir, and not for lack of trying on my part. I truly hate to use the cliche, but you honestly do not know me. I look back on the posts that you have used to construct your version of me and I honestly do not see myself.
I do, however, see your point of view. Although I do not agree with it, I do see your view. My sister is dating a 6'2" 250lb gun dealer. He is a nice guy. I am a nice guy. Give me a chance.
E-mail me, sir. Even if you don't like me, I don't see any reason for you to disrespect me by ignoring me. Respect is a two-way street, and I admit I have trouble driving down this straight and narrow road. However, I am trying. Are you?
E-mail me, sir.
>.<
Mouse
Monday, October 18, 2004
WHISKEY-TANGO-FOXTROT
I got some interesting news a minute ago. My math substitute is leaving, due to the fact his wife is deathly ill and is going to Houston for treatment. I don't think it would be that big of a deal normally, but you need to realize something about this substitute.
This is our FIFTH substitute.
Mr. Hendricks, the guy who is supposed to teach the class, had cancer last year and is in a long recovery. Not his fault. No problem with him. My beef is with the district. The sub the first day just passed out papers and eyed the guys in our class.
>.<
Creeepy.
The second sub was Mrs. Fields. This is a short black woman with bugged out eyes and homicidal tendencies. Not homicidal, but definitively violent. IE, when she subbed for our choir class last year (there were 90 people) people were not listening to her. I was, but I was also frozen in fear. She took roll three times, and if you coughed, giggle, twitched, or breathed too loud (Seriously.) she would stop calling roll and start yelling curses at our parents who were so foolish as to bring us into this world. Then we recived, with rapt attention, a discourse on the advantages of beating your grandchildren daily. So, most of us didn't like the idea of having her as a sub. Not to mention haver her, a woman who admits she has no high school degree, as a sub in a class of complex math.
Next was Mrs. Backland, a geometry teacher who tried. She really did, and it was sweet of her and all, but she needed her off period. So, there she went.
Then we had Mrs. Watson. This woman has no grasp on higher level math. None at all. And she tried to teach us higher level math. She was incompetent. It was horrible. She really didn't TEACH us anything. She just gave us horrendously long assignments and asked us why we didn't know them, and why Kaleb Frenzel was talking. Kaleb Frenzel was TEACHING the class. This was bad. Very Bad.
And then there was Dr. Parker, a retired professor of engineering at Texas Tech, he gave us a good shot at learning the math. He was determined to be our teacher to the end of the semester. Then his wife got sick. So. Yeah.
This is, in militarian terms, a CHARLIE-FOXTROT. Those of you who know what that means, you grasp just how horrible this semester is going to be for math.
GG BISD.
>.<
Mouse
I got some interesting news a minute ago. My math substitute is leaving, due to the fact his wife is deathly ill and is going to Houston for treatment. I don't think it would be that big of a deal normally, but you need to realize something about this substitute.
This is our FIFTH substitute.
Mr. Hendricks, the guy who is supposed to teach the class, had cancer last year and is in a long recovery. Not his fault. No problem with him. My beef is with the district. The sub the first day just passed out papers and eyed the guys in our class.
>.<
Creeepy.
The second sub was Mrs. Fields. This is a short black woman with bugged out eyes and homicidal tendencies. Not homicidal, but definitively violent. IE, when she subbed for our choir class last year (there were 90 people) people were not listening to her. I was, but I was also frozen in fear. She took roll three times, and if you coughed, giggle, twitched, or breathed too loud (Seriously.) she would stop calling roll and start yelling curses at our parents who were so foolish as to bring us into this world. Then we recived, with rapt attention, a discourse on the advantages of beating your grandchildren daily. So, most of us didn't like the idea of having her as a sub. Not to mention haver her, a woman who admits she has no high school degree, as a sub in a class of complex math.
Next was Mrs. Backland, a geometry teacher who tried. She really did, and it was sweet of her and all, but she needed her off period. So, there she went.
Then we had Mrs. Watson. This woman has no grasp on higher level math. None at all. And she tried to teach us higher level math. She was incompetent. It was horrible. She really didn't TEACH us anything. She just gave us horrendously long assignments and asked us why we didn't know them, and why Kaleb Frenzel was talking. Kaleb Frenzel was TEACHING the class. This was bad. Very Bad.
And then there was Dr. Parker, a retired professor of engineering at Texas Tech, he gave us a good shot at learning the math. He was determined to be our teacher to the end of the semester. Then his wife got sick. So. Yeah.
This is, in militarian terms, a CHARLIE-FOXTROT. Those of you who know what that means, you grasp just how horrible this semester is going to be for math.
GG BISD.
>.<
Mouse
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Haro!!
Well, its been a while, has it not. Hmmm. I should be listening to music.
Wow. WMP9 reports that "Eminem" is back.
*sigh*
I really hate that man.
I really hate his music.
I really hate his message.
I really hate his peers.
Off that topic. Now I have music! Yeay! http://www.lyricsondemand.com/f/fiveironfrenzylyrics/thegreateststoryevertoldlyrics.html
Well, lets get down to business. I have a new guest on my blog; one whose presence should probobly concern me. It does, but not in the way that it most readily would. Everyone, say Hello (Or Haro, whatever) to Sarah's father. Apparently he has been here before, and yanked my archives off of here and saved them somewhere. I have this thrice confirmed. And this scares several people. It is most likely a tad disconcerting for people to know more about you than you know about them. I don't really mind. This is the internet. This is where I have no limits and no fears (Excepting pop-ups and hidden links(and politics)).
Anywho, I now feel the urge to adress Mr. Williams directly, concerning the content of the archives he so lovingly ripped from teh bloggeh.
There are things in that blog that probobly greatly disturb you, considering the relationship I have now entered in with your daughter. You should also notice the shift in this blog after a period of time. I have changed greatly. I have most definetly matured. And. I have found faith. Its still a fledgling thing, to be honest, but I rely on that for most of the important things in life now a days. Its rather scary, but it is the way I am going to live my life. I am a catholic, and although I hear you have some objections to that religion, I will leave those alone for now. I am probobly going to put up a whole post about how Catholics do not worship Mary in the next week or five. Not just for you, but for everyone else around this blog. I feel like giving religous discourse over the internet. Because that just tends to be my most effective medium.
I am a changing person. I am a growing person. I am growing in maturity, in faith, and in knowlesge of the world. I am a sixteen-year-old who is learning not just how, but why to make his way in the world. I want a fair chance. If I don't get one, that isn't going to stop me. I'm willing to play an 8 on six teamstack without having to whip out the awps or anyhting. Your daughter does mean quite a bit to me. I have no intention of hurting her in any way. Good game, Mr. Williams.
On to a few more things, I need a new fan for my shuttle. The little AMD motherboard fan is starting to die a slow and agonizing death.
Okay, GG guys.
GL, HF, and cover your teammates this week.
-Mouse!!!!
o.o
Well, its been a while, has it not. Hmmm. I should be listening to music.
Wow. WMP9 reports that "Eminem" is back.
*sigh*
I really hate that man.
I really hate his music.
I really hate his message.
I really hate his peers.
Off that topic. Now I have music! Yeay! http://www.lyricsondemand.com/f/fiveironfrenzylyrics/thegreateststoryevertoldlyrics.html
Well, lets get down to business. I have a new guest on my blog; one whose presence should probobly concern me. It does, but not in the way that it most readily would. Everyone, say Hello (Or Haro, whatever) to Sarah's father. Apparently he has been here before, and yanked my archives off of here and saved them somewhere. I have this thrice confirmed. And this scares several people. It is most likely a tad disconcerting for people to know more about you than you know about them. I don't really mind. This is the internet. This is where I have no limits and no fears (Excepting pop-ups and hidden links(and politics)).
Anywho, I now feel the urge to adress Mr. Williams directly, concerning the content of the archives he so lovingly ripped from teh bloggeh.
There are things in that blog that probobly greatly disturb you, considering the relationship I have now entered in with your daughter. You should also notice the shift in this blog after a period of time. I have changed greatly. I have most definetly matured. And. I have found faith. Its still a fledgling thing, to be honest, but I rely on that for most of the important things in life now a days. Its rather scary, but it is the way I am going to live my life. I am a catholic, and although I hear you have some objections to that religion, I will leave those alone for now. I am probobly going to put up a whole post about how Catholics do not worship Mary in the next week or five. Not just for you, but for everyone else around this blog. I feel like giving religous discourse over the internet. Because that just tends to be my most effective medium.
I am a changing person. I am a growing person. I am growing in maturity, in faith, and in knowlesge of the world. I am a sixteen-year-old who is learning not just how, but why to make his way in the world. I want a fair chance. If I don't get one, that isn't going to stop me. I'm willing to play an 8 on six teamstack without having to whip out the awps or anyhting. Your daughter does mean quite a bit to me. I have no intention of hurting her in any way. Good game, Mr. Williams.
On to a few more things, I need a new fan for my shuttle. The little AMD motherboard fan is starting to die a slow and agonizing death.
Okay, GG guys.
GL, HF, and cover your teammates this week.
-Mouse!!!!
o.o
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Hello.
For those of you who don't know me, I am Matt, the owner of this blog. Believe it or not, I am alive and well, and blogging!
Sarah
Sarah is my precious. I am very possesive of her and find few things as awesome as her hugs. Eee! ^^
Tony
Tony is a good friend of mine, a gaming liason, and part-time jerk. Might have somethign going for Lisa?
WTF m8?
You know all of this.
Tonight
TOnight I went to Marissa Brower's birthday party. It sucked so much. I mean, I just felt out of place. I was caught between peer groups, and Brian was with Cynthea, so I was kinda a third wheel. Then I found out that people freakin' hate tricycles. I liked hanging out with Marissa though, and, there was burning of sitcks in the backyard, so, I rejoiced.
[CaG]
Clans are Gay: My new counterstrike clan. We get the scout and freakin' pwn you to worlds beyond. I own with the scout. See for yourself. I am Bravo. http://clankarma.xgservers.com/weapon.php?id=20 THX is Chris Normand and MetalS is Nick Jimenez. We all know who SIM is.The scout is awesome.
Sarah
... is much more awesome. I really find her incredibly special to me. For those of you who have trouble grasping the english language (along with other common objects like doorknobs, forks, plates) that means I find it hard to believe how awesome she is to me. I would easily give most anything to just sit there with her and hold her to me for a long, long time. She is a window out of hell one might say.
A Window into Hell
On the other side, I have started into my annual depression. Sorry bout that, see you in december.
-Mouse
<3
For those of you who don't know me, I am Matt, the owner of this blog. Believe it or not, I am alive and well, and blogging!
Sarah
Sarah is my precious. I am very possesive of her and find few things as awesome as her hugs. Eee! ^^
Tony
Tony is a good friend of mine, a gaming liason, and part-time jerk. Might have somethign going for Lisa?
WTF m8?
You know all of this.
Tonight
TOnight I went to Marissa Brower's birthday party. It sucked so much. I mean, I just felt out of place. I was caught between peer groups, and Brian was with Cynthea, so I was kinda a third wheel. Then I found out that people freakin' hate tricycles. I liked hanging out with Marissa though, and, there was burning of sitcks in the backyard, so, I rejoiced.
[CaG]
Clans are Gay: My new counterstrike clan. We get the scout and freakin' pwn you to worlds beyond. I own with the scout. See for yourself. I am Bravo. http://clankarma.xgservers.com/weapon.php?id=20 THX is Chris Normand and MetalS is Nick Jimenez. We all know who SIM is.The scout is awesome.
Sarah
... is much more awesome. I really find her incredibly special to me. For those of you who have trouble grasping the english language (along with other common objects like doorknobs, forks, plates) that means I find it hard to believe how awesome she is to me. I would easily give most anything to just sit there with her and hold her to me for a long, long time. She is a window out of hell one might say.
A Window into Hell
On the other side, I have started into my annual depression. Sorry bout that, see you in december.
-Mouse
<3
Monday, August 30, 2004
I am posting. I hope this works.
I am dating Sarah. That makes me happy. She is awesome. That's all that needs to be said about that. It is a big deal, but, it would be foolish to blubber on and on about what we all already know, nani?
Tony got a job at EB.
Trev is a Pistol Whipper.
Sarah is cute.
Scott (DBS) is coming dangerously close to getting himself put on a list.
I really hope this works. Gar!!
-Meese
I am dating Sarah. That makes me happy. She is awesome. That's all that needs to be said about that. It is a big deal, but, it would be foolish to blubber on and on about what we all already know, nani?
Tony got a job at EB.
Trev is a Pistol Whipper.
Sarah is cute.
Scott (DBS) is coming dangerously close to getting himself put on a list.
I really hope this works. Gar!!
-Meese
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Musical Hairs
So, yesterday I went to Brian's house and burned a CD...
I tend to like everything that's not rap, regardless of Artist Indescretions... Except for Pop and Teeny Bopper music... So, Here is the CD...
Track One - Sweet Dreams Marylin Manson
Track Two - Not sure of the title, but, if you have ever seen School of Rock, it is the Intro Song... Run for Cover?
Track Three - Highway To Hell - AC/DC
Track Four - I Miss You - Incubus
Track Five - Kielbasa Sausage - Tenacious D (Don't Ask...)
Track Six - It's All Understood - Jack Johnson
Track Seven - Losing Hope - Jack Johnson
Track Eight - No Idea... Something Brian Gave me.. Good old boy rock.
Track Nine - The News - Jack Johnson
Track Ten - Back In Black - AC/DC
Track Eleven - Yankee Rose - Not Sure, But one HELL of a guitarist...
Track Twelve - Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Thirteen - Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit
Track Fourteen - Black Balloon - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Fifteen - Sympathy - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Sixteen - Not Sure - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Seventeen - Big Machine - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Eighteen - Mr. Roboto - Styx
Also, pertaining to music, I need new strings for my Bass. I am think Ernie Balls Slinkies. I want to talk to my dad about it. He should pay for them, if he holds true to form. I also need some nine volts for my Synth Pedal... Hmm... I probobly have to pay for that.
The News - Jack Johnson
"A billion people died on the news tonight.
But not so many cried at the terrible sight.
Well Mama Said:
'Its just make-believe.
You can't believe everything you see.
So baby close your eyes to the lullabyes
on the news tonight.'
Who the one to decide that it would be alright to put the music behind the news tonight?
Well Mama Said :
'You Can't Believe Everything you hear.
The diagetic world is so unclear.
So baby close your ears on the news tonight...
On the news tonight...
The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight...'
Well Mama Said:
'Why don't the news casters cry when they read about people who die?
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in thier eyes...'
Well Mama Said:
'Its just make believe.
You can't believe everything you see.
So baby close your eyes to the lullabyes
On the news tonight.' "
That's a cool song. Jack Johnson produces something I have seen referred to as "Music For Nice People"
Events of Today
Went to Megan's DDR party. Did not play DDR. 'Nuf said.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Me Pokum Sarah!
*poke*
Tha's about it. I think I will give her a call when I get done here.
School Starts Thursday
I am not really worried about it... I am almost looking forward to it. Almost. I am definetly ready to go back, I just don't get to sleep or game in extreme amounts anymore. That is something I can deal with. I am looking forward to all the human contact. This summer was awesome in the way that I did game, but I didn't isolate myself from people as much as normal. I gamed WITH people. It was awesome. I Am going to finish now.
Wait! No!
Sarah: You said my blog was boring... I think that is the reason I chose it. I like how it is simple. When I blog I tend to lay it all bare. And I guess that the simplicity of htat Idea and the simplicity of my blog work together well in my mind. *shruggle*
"And I don't want the world to see me. 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand that everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am... I just want you to know who I am."
Yy!
-Mouse
o.o
So, yesterday I went to Brian's house and burned a CD...
I tend to like everything that's not rap, regardless of Artist Indescretions... Except for Pop and Teeny Bopper music... So, Here is the CD...
Track One - Sweet Dreams Marylin Manson
Track Two - Not sure of the title, but, if you have ever seen School of Rock, it is the Intro Song... Run for Cover?
Track Three - Highway To Hell - AC/DC
Track Four - I Miss You - Incubus
Track Five - Kielbasa Sausage - Tenacious D (Don't Ask...)
Track Six - It's All Understood - Jack Johnson
Track Seven - Losing Hope - Jack Johnson
Track Eight - No Idea... Something Brian Gave me.. Good old boy rock.
Track Nine - The News - Jack Johnson
Track Ten - Back In Black - AC/DC
Track Eleven - Yankee Rose - Not Sure, But one HELL of a guitarist...
Track Twelve - Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Thirteen - Behind Blue Eyes - Limp Bizkit
Track Fourteen - Black Balloon - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Fifteen - Sympathy - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Sixteen - Not Sure - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Seventeen - Big Machine - The Goo Goo Dolls
Track Eighteen - Mr. Roboto - Styx
Also, pertaining to music, I need new strings for my Bass. I am think Ernie Balls Slinkies. I want to talk to my dad about it. He should pay for them, if he holds true to form. I also need some nine volts for my Synth Pedal... Hmm... I probobly have to pay for that.
The News - Jack Johnson
"A billion people died on the news tonight.
But not so many cried at the terrible sight.
Well Mama Said:
'Its just make-believe.
You can't believe everything you see.
So baby close your eyes to the lullabyes
on the news tonight.'
Who the one to decide that it would be alright to put the music behind the news tonight?
Well Mama Said :
'You Can't Believe Everything you hear.
The diagetic world is so unclear.
So baby close your ears on the news tonight...
On the news tonight...
The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight...'
Well Mama Said:
'Why don't the news casters cry when they read about people who die?
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in thier eyes...'
Well Mama Said:
'Its just make believe.
You can't believe everything you see.
So baby close your eyes to the lullabyes
On the news tonight.' "
That's a cool song. Jack Johnson produces something I have seen referred to as "Music For Nice People"
Events of Today
Went to Megan's DDR party. Did not play DDR. 'Nuf said.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Me Pokum Sarah!
*poke*
Tha's about it. I think I will give her a call when I get done here.
School Starts Thursday
I am not really worried about it... I am almost looking forward to it. Almost. I am definetly ready to go back, I just don't get to sleep or game in extreme amounts anymore. That is something I can deal with. I am looking forward to all the human contact. This summer was awesome in the way that I did game, but I didn't isolate myself from people as much as normal. I gamed WITH people. It was awesome. I Am going to finish now.
Wait! No!
Sarah: You said my blog was boring... I think that is the reason I chose it. I like how it is simple. When I blog I tend to lay it all bare. And I guess that the simplicity of htat Idea and the simplicity of my blog work together well in my mind. *shruggle*
"And I don't want the world to see me. 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand that everythings made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am... I just want you to know who I am."
Yy!
-Mouse
o.o
Monday, August 09, 2004
Naked and Feeling Go-o-od!
So, I am not naked. I am, however feeling good. I am listeing to "Clocks" from Coldplay's A Rush Of Blood To The Head. I just had a footlong sub from subway. Italian BMT. Cheese, Jalepenos, Pepper, Spicy Mustard, And Onions... Mmmm... I just realized how much my breath must stink... *brushes teeth* There we go.This is just a random "Still Alive" post.
Yup... Still Alive...
*whistle*
Yup... Still... Oh... wait... Dangit...
X.X
Issue: Sarah Williams
Nothing really new has happened.Um, she responded to my blog on her blog... and she did it in such a way it made me w00t...
w00t!
w00kie!
Okay...
I am so done for here...
o.ô
Bravo
So, I am not naked. I am, however feeling good. I am listeing to "Clocks" from Coldplay's A Rush Of Blood To The Head. I just had a footlong sub from subway. Italian BMT. Cheese, Jalepenos, Pepper, Spicy Mustard, And Onions... Mmmm... I just realized how much my breath must stink... *brushes teeth* There we go.This is just a random "Still Alive" post.
Yup... Still Alive...
*whistle*
Yup... Still... Oh... wait... Dangit...
X.X
Issue: Sarah Williams
Nothing really new has happened.Um, she responded to my blog on her blog... and she did it in such a way it made me w00t...
w00t!
w00kie!
Okay...
I am so done for here...
o.ô
Bravo
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Issue: Sarah Williams
Today Sarah and I got to talk for a good amount of time. It was outside, at Rachel's house. After quite a bit of stuttering and mumbling, and tearing apart of leaves, we came to the conclusion that Sarah isn't quite ready to date yet. She is scared of dating after what happened with Mark.
I have to admit, all the mumbling and nervousness on her part was really cute. I was very pleased by the fact that she had the spine to tell me she wasn't ready. I want her to always be open and honest with me. That is the path to a good relationship.
There are so many things about Sarah that I admire. I don't know why. She is so cute, and honest, and sweet. I am fawning all over her, and I won't be stopping for a while.
When she told me about how scared she was about being in a relationship, I kept sensing so much hurt... I felt so useless. I wanted to do something, anything to ease what I saw in her... She looked like she was about to cry. I just wanted to hold her. It was the only thing I could think to do. And I could not. I wish I could somehow help heal the hurt and protect her from more hurt. I want to hold her. That makes me happy and sad at the same time.
The final analisys is: Sarah isn't ready to date yet. But when she is, I will be waiting for her. Patience is a virtue, right?
Computer Update
I just formatted with a Corporate Version of XP Pro. Thanks Tony.
-Mouse
o.o
Today Sarah and I got to talk for a good amount of time. It was outside, at Rachel's house. After quite a bit of stuttering and mumbling, and tearing apart of leaves, we came to the conclusion that Sarah isn't quite ready to date yet. She is scared of dating after what happened with Mark.
I have to admit, all the mumbling and nervousness on her part was really cute. I was very pleased by the fact that she had the spine to tell me she wasn't ready. I want her to always be open and honest with me. That is the path to a good relationship.
There are so many things about Sarah that I admire. I don't know why. She is so cute, and honest, and sweet. I am fawning all over her, and I won't be stopping for a while.
When she told me about how scared she was about being in a relationship, I kept sensing so much hurt... I felt so useless. I wanted to do something, anything to ease what I saw in her... She looked like she was about to cry. I just wanted to hold her. It was the only thing I could think to do. And I could not. I wish I could somehow help heal the hurt and protect her from more hurt. I want to hold her. That makes me happy and sad at the same time.
The final analisys is: Sarah isn't ready to date yet. But when she is, I will be waiting for her. Patience is a virtue, right?
Computer Update
I just formatted with a Corporate Version of XP Pro. Thanks Tony.
-Mouse
o.o
Thursday, August 05, 2004
OMGOMGOMG SPACE MARINES EVERYWHERE!
Doom 3 came out yesterday. And Sweet Jesus, I nearly pissed my pants a couple of times. Especially when I met up with this mother trucker. http://d3c.ngz-network.de/contentimages/screenshots/imp.jpg I wanted to run the hell away. But, I shot him. About four times. It's a great game though. I need to beat it.
That's about it.
No Post about Sarah.
It would just be redundant of the last post.
Doom 3 came out yesterday. And Sweet Jesus, I nearly pissed my pants a couple of times. Especially when I met up with this mother trucker. http://d3c.ngz-network.de/contentimages/screenshots/imp.jpg I wanted to run the hell away. But, I shot him. About four times. It's a great game though. I need to beat it.
That's about it.
No Post about Sarah.
It would just be redundant of the last post.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
Report In!
I am at Brian Gore's house tonight. You all know Brian, right? You should. He's a good guy. I had to take out my contacts, and the way my eyes are feelin right now, I think I am going to leave them out for a good amount of time. Right now, his internet is not working, So, I can;t check blogs, This makes me sad. But, I can still pre-write my post with no inhibitions, eh? I am out of shape., I need to work out and run alot more, but, sloth wins so often...
Issue: Sarah Williams
Sarah and I need to talk in person, face to face, and alone. Talking over the phone is so much easier, yet so much harder. You don't have to worry about making those faces you make when you try and find the words to express emotions and hard to reach feelings. Unfortunately, you can't see the other person faces to figure out exactely wahat they mean. It's a half and half deal. In person, you may feel a bit more foolish, but you feel so much closer to the person, because, you probobly are. Anyway, Sarah wan't to talk about some things that are very close to her, and might hurt her. So, if I can avoid that, I'm all over it. Unfortunateyl, since her father wouldn't like her hanging out with someone he hasn't screened by way of a seventeen part polygraph, and since I am too cowardly to take that polygraph, we need to meet at a neutral location with good cover. So, we were thinking about flash/movie night. So, at Annie's house. Or, whoever wishes to host that all-night event. Sarah said she was afraid of getting hurt.. made references to Ross and Mark... So, they are on my list, after a fashion. And, Sarah, if you don't want me to post things we discuss amongst ourselves, tell me in that chatterbox over there, and I will take care of it as soon as possible. That;s about all I can say on this issue right now, as things are kind of at a deadlock until I can talk to Sarah. So that's about the sum of that.
Other
I'm gonna try and fix Brian's internet now. That effectively ends the post.
G'night.
Mouse
o.o
I am at Brian Gore's house tonight. You all know Brian, right? You should. He's a good guy. I had to take out my contacts, and the way my eyes are feelin right now, I think I am going to leave them out for a good amount of time. Right now, his internet is not working, So, I can;t check blogs, This makes me sad. But, I can still pre-write my post with no inhibitions, eh? I am out of shape., I need to work out and run alot more, but, sloth wins so often...
Issue: Sarah Williams
Sarah and I need to talk in person, face to face, and alone. Talking over the phone is so much easier, yet so much harder. You don't have to worry about making those faces you make when you try and find the words to express emotions and hard to reach feelings. Unfortunately, you can't see the other person faces to figure out exactely wahat they mean. It's a half and half deal. In person, you may feel a bit more foolish, but you feel so much closer to the person, because, you probobly are. Anyway, Sarah wan't to talk about some things that are very close to her, and might hurt her. So, if I can avoid that, I'm all over it. Unfortunateyl, since her father wouldn't like her hanging out with someone he hasn't screened by way of a seventeen part polygraph, and since I am too cowardly to take that polygraph, we need to meet at a neutral location with good cover. So, we were thinking about flash/movie night. So, at Annie's house. Or, whoever wishes to host that all-night event. Sarah said she was afraid of getting hurt.. made references to Ross and Mark... So, they are on my list, after a fashion. And, Sarah, if you don't want me to post things we discuss amongst ourselves, tell me in that chatterbox over there, and I will take care of it as soon as possible. That;s about all I can say on this issue right now, as things are kind of at a deadlock until I can talk to Sarah. So that's about the sum of that.
Other
I'm gonna try and fix Brian's internet now. That effectively ends the post.
G'night.
Mouse
o.o
Saturday, July 31, 2004
Happy Birthday Rachel
Well, I think we can all safely say that Rachel got owned. Not just owned, actually, PWN3D. No matter how cunning she thinks she is, she still didn't stop us. Nothing can stop us. We are the invincible "Team Charmin". Wind, nor rain, nor really really uncomfortable toilets can stop us. We are 1-3-3-7.
347 7.
Issue: Sarah Williams
As some of you may know, I spent a better part of my waking hours with Sarah. I enjoyed it alot. Quite a bit. And not just because I was hopped up on a mocha freezer. Actually, A mudlifter. We saw Chris Kersey, and the mutual agreement was "That guy is scary." So, anayway, back to the issue at top. Sarah... I knmow I most certainly enjoy her company. Immensley, actually. And I think that it would be safe to say that, I "like" her. Now, for all of you that know me, trevor's keyboard sucks. Also, that is a rasther irrational conclusion, as I haven't been around her much. But, I find that her attitude in general is rather enjoyable. So, that is an interesting fact for all you out there. I know Sarah reads my blog, so, Sarah, there you have it. You have several choices. I shall list them in an attractive manner.
Well, I think we can all safely say that Rachel got owned. Not just owned, actually, PWN3D. No matter how cunning she thinks she is, she still didn't stop us. Nothing can stop us. We are the invincible "Team Charmin". Wind, nor rain, nor really really uncomfortable toilets can stop us. We are 1-3-3-7.
347 7.
Issue: Sarah Williams
As some of you may know, I spent a better part of my waking hours with Sarah. I enjoyed it alot. Quite a bit. And not just because I was hopped up on a mocha freezer. Actually, A mudlifter. We saw Chris Kersey, and the mutual agreement was "That guy is scary." So, anayway, back to the issue at top. Sarah... I knmow I most certainly enjoy her company. Immensley, actually. And I think that it would be safe to say that, I "like" her. Now, for all of you that know me, trevor's keyboard sucks. Also, that is a rasther irrational conclusion, as I haven't been around her much. But, I find that her attitude in general is rather enjoyable. So, that is an interesting fact for all you out there. I know Sarah reads my blog, so, Sarah, there you have it. You have several choices. I shall list them in an attractive manner.
- Hide. He is coming, and scary enough to scare off Katherine James. SCORE!
- Kindly tell me you think I am scary/odd/heavily armed and that you are interesting in distancing ourselves from one another for a bit.
- Kindly tell me you think I am scary/odd/heavily armed and that you are interesting in decreasing the distance between us. ^^
- Just talk to me sometime. I know you are slightly confused about this whole situation. As I know I am. So, we should talk sometime. Without our respective possies. (Me: Trevor. You: Rachel) Actually, I think we should do that anyway. If not in person (Not likely, due to your militant father) then over the phone.
I recommend option number four. But, in all honesty, It's up to you. If there is not really any chance for me to start anything with you, I would like to know. That would be very kind. ^^ I am attempting to do this before I feel too serious about anything, because the more serious I get, the more serious I get hurt. X.x And therein lies my cowardice. I have not really done well in the past with relationships, and Kat was just an attempt to get my self confidence going. I was just lonely I guess. Beyond that, you have qualities that I wouldn't mind getting rubbed off on me. Well, that's my rambling for now. Lemme know what you think. I will probobly call you tomorrow around 3-4.
Random Quote That Amuses Me
"You can't hug with nuclear arms."
The hell you can't. Aww... Come here Soviet Union.... *white flash*
Dang.
-X.X- Mouse
PWN3D!
Last night the Pistol Whippers played a clan called. *CoRe*. They got pistolwhipped. The first map, Basrahs Edge, we won with a 1-0 score. The Second map, El Alamien, We lost with a 0-1 score. The third map, Berlin, we won with a 12-2 score. Oh, yeah, we were playing capture the flag.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Gar! I must talk to Sarah in real life and hang out with her and such. Or else my mind will keep leaning my heart toward her with no real reason but. "I can, I guess." Gar! The pirate not be pleased! But at the same time, he be very pleased! He be callin' the Lass when he posts. Yearg, he be checkin' her blog. Gyar, Not a tad new there. Now, I be finished posting. Gyeeear!
Mouse.
The Pirate!
Last night the Pistol Whippers played a clan called. *CoRe*. They got pistolwhipped. The first map, Basrahs Edge, we won with a 1-0 score. The Second map, El Alamien, We lost with a 0-1 score. The third map, Berlin, we won with a 12-2 score. Oh, yeah, we were playing capture the flag.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Gar! I must talk to Sarah in real life and hang out with her and such. Or else my mind will keep leaning my heart toward her with no real reason but. "I can, I guess." Gar! The pirate not be pleased! But at the same time, he be very pleased! He be callin' the Lass when he posts. Yearg, he be checkin' her blog. Gyar, Not a tad new there. Now, I be finished posting. Gyeeear!
Mouse.
The Pirate!
- .o
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Monday, July 26, 2004
Thought of The Morning
"Now, we must all fear evil men... but there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men."
This quote was taken from "The Boondock Saints" a movie that has to do with some things I actually feel rather strongly about. The fact that not fighting back against things that are wrong is as bad as doing something wrong yourself. That's how I see things.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Supposedly I am supposed to go hang out with Sarah, Rachel, and Trevor at Rachel's house tomorrow. I think I might have some idea of who she is now. It... is odd... I don't really know what I think of her... I'm gonna go read her blog...
Okay, nothing new. I think there might be something... Call it chemistry. Not sure. Need to be with her in RL.
Okay. I'm gonna watch a movie. 'Night.
"Now, we must all fear evil men... but there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men."
This quote was taken from "The Boondock Saints" a movie that has to do with some things I actually feel rather strongly about. The fact that not fighting back against things that are wrong is as bad as doing something wrong yourself. That's how I see things.
Issue: Sarah Williams
Supposedly I am supposed to go hang out with Sarah, Rachel, and Trevor at Rachel's house tomorrow. I think I might have some idea of who she is now. It... is odd... I don't really know what I think of her... I'm gonna go read her blog...
Okay, nothing new. I think there might be something... Call it chemistry. Not sure. Need to be with her in RL.
Okay. I'm gonna watch a movie. 'Night.
Sunday, July 25, 2004
Random Thoughts Of Madness
So, for reason's unbeknownst to me I am leaning towards a conclusion without any reason. Not healthy. I don't really know why. Possibly because I published the situation a bit too much, and talked to too many people about it. I think that I try to justify things in a conversation, and end up molding them to the conversation, even if said conversation is completely different from the way I feel. So, as I stated earlier that's bad.
Issue: Sarah Williams
I am glad we have cleared up the "Myself" issue in the blog. Makes me a lot more comfortable with the whole situation, which is currently about as comfortable as these razorblades for boots will let me...
I don't know, it's a confusing situation, even as one sided as it is. I have probobly been giving it too much thought. But, 'round these here parts, that is a problem far too rare. *chews on a peice of grass and wears a dusty cowboy hat*
Right Now: Bliss
As uncomfortable as my heart and mind are right now, being in conflict with one another, I have found myself again able to reach my bliss. I define my bliss as being able to write something like this. Something that lets out a bit of the way I feel inside. While I am doing that I have to be listening to music which I feel expresses the way I feel inside. This is the greatest feeling I can ever achieve by myself. Not thinking too much, just writing the way i feel and the notes that correspond with them. Its almost a mindless state. Right now I am there. I just feel good, listening to music and thinking about my the conflict. Upbeats and beatdowns, which is Ironically, the name of the album...
"Where does the misunderstanding come from,demanding that we be outstanding and then some?
Perfection never was a requirement,
although some might say we desired it.
So then for times when things get old I might get cynicalI see that I don't see.
Do they see you when they see me?
In honesty there's room for improvement
Thoughts may change, the truth be told,
A closed mind will leave you empty
Use your mind to use your soul.
Alert the press, their dogmas are a mess,
Opinions shift, a broken sift, an empty hand,
And billboards ask, 'where do they stand.'
Do all streams lead to one sea?
Logically there's room for all questions
Though the answers aren't all known,
Objectivities the myth of plenty,
Who doubt His truth within their soul."
Five Iron Frenzy - All That is Good
So, I am going to stop now. That took a while to type. See you all at church in... 8 hours?
-Mouse
o.o
-Bravo
o.ô
So, for reason's unbeknownst to me I am leaning towards a conclusion without any reason. Not healthy. I don't really know why. Possibly because I published the situation a bit too much, and talked to too many people about it. I think that I try to justify things in a conversation, and end up molding them to the conversation, even if said conversation is completely different from the way I feel. So, as I stated earlier that's bad.
Issue: Sarah Williams
I am glad we have cleared up the "Myself" issue in the blog. Makes me a lot more comfortable with the whole situation, which is currently about as comfortable as these razorblades for boots will let me...
I don't know, it's a confusing situation, even as one sided as it is. I have probobly been giving it too much thought. But, 'round these here parts, that is a problem far too rare. *chews on a peice of grass and wears a dusty cowboy hat*
Right Now: Bliss
As uncomfortable as my heart and mind are right now, being in conflict with one another, I have found myself again able to reach my bliss. I define my bliss as being able to write something like this. Something that lets out a bit of the way I feel inside. While I am doing that I have to be listening to music which I feel expresses the way I feel inside. This is the greatest feeling I can ever achieve by myself. Not thinking too much, just writing the way i feel and the notes that correspond with them. Its almost a mindless state. Right now I am there. I just feel good, listening to music and thinking about my the conflict. Upbeats and beatdowns, which is Ironically, the name of the album...
"Where does the misunderstanding come from,demanding that we be outstanding and then some?
Perfection never was a requirement,
although some might say we desired it.
So then for times when things get old I might get cynicalI see that I don't see.
Do they see you when they see me?
In honesty there's room for improvement
Thoughts may change, the truth be told,
A closed mind will leave you empty
Use your mind to use your soul.
Alert the press, their dogmas are a mess,
Opinions shift, a broken sift, an empty hand,
And billboards ask, 'where do they stand.'
Do all streams lead to one sea?
Logically there's room for all questions
Though the answers aren't all known,
Objectivities the myth of plenty,
Who doubt His truth within their soul."
Five Iron Frenzy - All That is Good
So, I am going to stop now. That took a while to type. See you all at church in... 8 hours?
-Mouse
o.o
-Bravo
o.ô
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Hello ladies and gents.
I have been into thinking alot since mission. During too. I don't know much of anything right now, except that I want to change. When Rachel Rinn says that your perverted, and that its a bad thing, it's time to Bail. Beyond that I have started... conversion? I don't know what you call it, and what it feels closest to is a longing/guilty feeling. I really want to.. be right... I dunno. I think all the Christian music I have been listening to might have reinstalled my faith in the slightest. So, w00t on that. Its hard, but, I think I might be coming back from the dark.
BTW, I encourage all of you to check out "Five Iron Frenzy" Christian Ska!
Issue: Sarah Williams
I read her blog today, due to a rather helpful link from Rachel. I thought it was rather cute, excepting one peice. Under her dislikes, she wrote "Myself" and "Life"... I hope she said those with a sense of humor... I hate to say this, but, that's a tad frightening. I mean... I am not sure but, I don't think that's a good thing... Lets just say I hope she was kidding for now.
On to the whole situation, I guess I better do a good job of explaining it, eh? Okay, on Mission, Rachel and I were tallking about Trevor. I had a misinterparation of an incident involving Sarah. Sarah likes/ed Trevor and Rachel wanted him to like Sarah back so she could have luck with a guy. I had, at this point, just broken up with kat, and had been emotionally detatched from her for about two weeks. So it was an easy breakup, and I would be lying if I said I was not/ am not still actively looking for a girl. All this talk about Sarah stirs up some memories in mid to late march of her being a possible target of one of my affections. As for my affections, I have three, each with his or her own personality and a semi automatic weapon, a crowbar, and all are named "Gordon Freeman". They all have Degrees from MIT in the area of Hazordous material research and have been recently employed by the government at Black Mesa. So, I discussed with Rachel my interest in Sarah. She, frankly, jumped iwht joy. That was odd, i thought, and well, I guess it fits her. She seemed more than ecstatic. So, I have decided to get to know Sarah past "the cute little girl who I help pick on".
Check this link out, I lub it.
http://www.rockmanvortex.com/forte-kun/muzak/ozma_-_korobeiniki.mp3 - PIMP
Okay, later ya'll. I am gonna go finish law and order.
I have been into thinking alot since mission. During too. I don't know much of anything right now, except that I want to change. When Rachel Rinn says that your perverted, and that its a bad thing, it's time to Bail. Beyond that I have started... conversion? I don't know what you call it, and what it feels closest to is a longing/guilty feeling. I really want to.. be right... I dunno. I think all the Christian music I have been listening to might have reinstalled my faith in the slightest. So, w00t on that. Its hard, but, I think I might be coming back from the dark.
BTW, I encourage all of you to check out "Five Iron Frenzy" Christian Ska!
Issue: Sarah Williams
I read her blog today, due to a rather helpful link from Rachel. I thought it was rather cute, excepting one peice. Under her dislikes, she wrote "Myself" and "Life"... I hope she said those with a sense of humor... I hate to say this, but, that's a tad frightening. I mean... I am not sure but, I don't think that's a good thing... Lets just say I hope she was kidding for now.
On to the whole situation, I guess I better do a good job of explaining it, eh? Okay, on Mission, Rachel and I were tallking about Trevor. I had a misinterparation of an incident involving Sarah. Sarah likes/ed Trevor and Rachel wanted him to like Sarah back so she could have luck with a guy. I had, at this point, just broken up with kat, and had been emotionally detatched from her for about two weeks. So it was an easy breakup, and I would be lying if I said I was not/ am not still actively looking for a girl. All this talk about Sarah stirs up some memories in mid to late march of her being a possible target of one of my affections. As for my affections, I have three, each with his or her own personality and a semi automatic weapon, a crowbar, and all are named "Gordon Freeman". They all have Degrees from MIT in the area of Hazordous material research and have been recently employed by the government at Black Mesa. So, I discussed with Rachel my interest in Sarah. She, frankly, jumped iwht joy. That was odd, i thought, and well, I guess it fits her. She seemed more than ecstatic. So, I have decided to get to know Sarah past "the cute little girl who I help pick on".
Check this link out, I lub it.
http://www.rockmanvortex.com/forte-kun/muzak/ozma_-_korobeiniki.mp3 - PIMP
Okay, later ya'll. I am gonna go finish law and order.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Password Is Remembered
Makes a difference you know.
So, the little SIM-bitch wants bloggage, he will get bloggage. Not very much though. I am not quite sure what there is to blog about right now. We all know about the much-ado tales. We all know about the mormon-beating. We all know... alot less than we think we do.
I really don't know how I feel right now. I was able to solidify my feelings about Callan. I was happy. I don't know where I stand with everyone else now. It is rather frustrating, I must say. I sent Callan an e-mail explaining all that shiz. I should probobly just explain it iRL. I wouldn't really want to talk to her unless I was able to talk with her alone, and I don't want to do that. I think that I would make her feel like I am cornering her, and, that would just not be cool.
How am I confused? Kat. Not James. The other one. Who doesn't bitch alot. Yeah. Her. I really don't know how I feel about her. I feelings for her are akin to the feelings for Callan, but different. Not just stronger, but, in a different sector of the emotional spectrum. I think you get my point. I can't figure out if I want to be a close, good friend to her, or a person that she feels "love" for.
I put love in quatation marks, because I don't know how to put that. I hate the terminology that we use so often today. People "like" each other. People ar "going out" together. I like Phillip just fine, and I have walked outside with him before, yet I don't feel like fathering/mothering his children... I put too much thought into that analogy... oww...
Okay, that the blogginess for today.
Yes, I have left Jordy's. STFU SIM.
-Bravo
Makes a difference you know.
So, the little SIM-bitch wants bloggage, he will get bloggage. Not very much though. I am not quite sure what there is to blog about right now. We all know about the much-ado tales. We all know about the mormon-beating. We all know... alot less than we think we do.
I really don't know how I feel right now. I was able to solidify my feelings about Callan. I was happy. I don't know where I stand with everyone else now. It is rather frustrating, I must say. I sent Callan an e-mail explaining all that shiz. I should probobly just explain it iRL. I wouldn't really want to talk to her unless I was able to talk with her alone, and I don't want to do that. I think that I would make her feel like I am cornering her, and, that would just not be cool.
How am I confused? Kat. Not James. The other one. Who doesn't bitch alot. Yeah. Her. I really don't know how I feel about her. I feelings for her are akin to the feelings for Callan, but different. Not just stronger, but, in a different sector of the emotional spectrum. I think you get my point. I can't figure out if I want to be a close, good friend to her, or a person that she feels "love" for.
I put love in quatation marks, because I don't know how to put that. I hate the terminology that we use so often today. People "like" each other. People ar "going out" together. I like Phillip just fine, and I have walked outside with him before, yet I don't feel like fathering/mothering his children... I put too much thought into that analogy... oww...
Okay, that the blogginess for today.
Yes, I have left Jordy's. STFU SIM.
-Bravo
Friday, March 12, 2004
So, it's 4:24 AM and I am at Jordy's house on my overheating bundle of joy. All is right with the world.
If mass hysteria, confusion, and lonliness are right.
The way things work around here, they probobly are. They seem to be almost the natural state of things. Everyone experiences them, everyone at some point devotes their life to them. It is not uncommon for people to come up with little cliches in a vain attempt to make people feel better. I wish to beat these people with a two-by-four while constantly repeating "Hey, it could be worse!"
WHACK
"Hey, it could be worse!"
WHACK
WHACK
WHACK
"Hey, it could be worse!"
And, back on topic.
There is not any real new topic. I am now thinking about a few "important" things. Like why I still haven't gotten FF9. Like why I feel that I will always be lonely, even if I do find someone. Like why dogs can't get peanut butter off the roof of thier mouth, even thought they have such long tongues.
When I turned 16, ,y Aunt called and asked, "So, have you been kissed?" I replied with something akin to "What the hell are you talking about?"
I feel as if I have missed all of the subtleties in life, the things that everyone is supposed to know. The things that you take for granted, that you allude to daily. The things that make you feel cool and warm and fuzzy. I feel so distant, so insignificant, because I missed out, I have no culture. I have no money. I have no skills. I am... one-eighth Mexican! Alliaghaalala!"
Oonsta! Oonsta! Oonsta!
I have a hacked copy of XP. Ain't life wonderful?
I am tired, don't know how I feel, what I want, and why I have a painful sore on my hand. All I know is it is 4:34.
G'night!
Matt
If mass hysteria, confusion, and lonliness are right.
The way things work around here, they probobly are. They seem to be almost the natural state of things. Everyone experiences them, everyone at some point devotes their life to them. It is not uncommon for people to come up with little cliches in a vain attempt to make people feel better. I wish to beat these people with a two-by-four while constantly repeating "Hey, it could be worse!"
WHACK
"Hey, it could be worse!"
WHACK
WHACK
WHACK
"Hey, it could be worse!"
And, back on topic.
There is not any real new topic. I am now thinking about a few "important" things. Like why I still haven't gotten FF9. Like why I feel that I will always be lonely, even if I do find someone. Like why dogs can't get peanut butter off the roof of thier mouth, even thought they have such long tongues.
When I turned 16, ,y Aunt called and asked, "So, have you been kissed?" I replied with something akin to "What the hell are you talking about?"
I feel as if I have missed all of the subtleties in life, the things that everyone is supposed to know. The things that you take for granted, that you allude to daily. The things that make you feel cool and warm and fuzzy. I feel so distant, so insignificant, because I missed out, I have no culture. I have no money. I have no skills. I am... one-eighth Mexican! Alliaghaalala!"
Oonsta! Oonsta! Oonsta!
I have a hacked copy of XP. Ain't life wonderful?
I am tired, don't know how I feel, what I want, and why I have a painful sore on my hand. All I know is it is 4:34.
G'night!
Matt
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
o.ô
Wow, I cannot wait for spring break. It will be blissful. Blissful I say. So, how is everyone else doing? Dying in expectation of the sweet ecstasy that is well on its way? Or so tired that you have trouble standing up and stringing together coherent thoughts, much less stringing together coherent chemical equations.
I want to buy a computer off of Tony Hughes. It is a nice machine, for only five hundred dollars! I would already have bought it, except for two minor things. (A) I do not have five hundred dollars, and (B) I don't know if my parents will let me. I don't want to have them get all up and angry because I am wasting all of my time and money going out and gaming, something which will never improve me in any way. It might just piss off my mom on principal alone.
So, does anyone know of a good job I can get? I need to get one hundred dollars. Fast. If you are thinking along the lines that I know you are, no. No prostitution. I am almost tempted to ask my dad for a loan. I know he will NOT be happy. So I see myself as having three options.
(Option One): I convince Tony to allow me to make a down payment and pay him the rest over time. This is not going to work because Tony wants the money all at once so he can buy and build another machine. I am still going to press the issue.
(Option Two): I manage to scrape up a hundred dollars over spring break. It can't be that hard, but there is the whole issue of sloth. I want to be lazy over the break, and working my ass off at Chick-Fil-A doesn't fit with my image of laziness.
(Option Three): I ask the dreaded question: "Dad, can I take out a small loan from the bank of Steve?" The reply will most likely be "What for?", or, "Hell No!". Either way my chances are not very good. I really don't want to get the parental units pissed off right now. It would not make life pleasant.
I do intend to talk to my parents about this tonight. I figure, "Ah, what the hell. If I don't ask them for money, it should be okay."
On a completely different note, I added a chatterbox! OMG! Have fun lassies/lads.
I will be staying after school tomorrow at practice for Much Ado. I think if I am going to be doing a bunch of tech stuff for it, I might as well see how they intend to block it and such.
I should pick up some candy on the way to school... Hmm...
-Bravo
Wow, I cannot wait for spring break. It will be blissful. Blissful I say. So, how is everyone else doing? Dying in expectation of the sweet ecstasy that is well on its way? Or so tired that you have trouble standing up and stringing together coherent thoughts, much less stringing together coherent chemical equations.
I want to buy a computer off of Tony Hughes. It is a nice machine, for only five hundred dollars! I would already have bought it, except for two minor things. (A) I do not have five hundred dollars, and (B) I don't know if my parents will let me. I don't want to have them get all up and angry because I am wasting all of my time and money going out and gaming, something which will never improve me in any way. It might just piss off my mom on principal alone.
So, does anyone know of a good job I can get? I need to get one hundred dollars. Fast. If you are thinking along the lines that I know you are, no. No prostitution. I am almost tempted to ask my dad for a loan. I know he will NOT be happy. So I see myself as having three options.
(Option One): I convince Tony to allow me to make a down payment and pay him the rest over time. This is not going to work because Tony wants the money all at once so he can buy and build another machine. I am still going to press the issue.
(Option Two): I manage to scrape up a hundred dollars over spring break. It can't be that hard, but there is the whole issue of sloth. I want to be lazy over the break, and working my ass off at Chick-Fil-A doesn't fit with my image of laziness.
(Option Three): I ask the dreaded question: "Dad, can I take out a small loan from the bank of Steve?" The reply will most likely be "What for?", or, "Hell No!". Either way my chances are not very good. I really don't want to get the parental units pissed off right now. It would not make life pleasant.
I do intend to talk to my parents about this tonight. I figure, "Ah, what the hell. If I don't ask them for money, it should be okay."
On a completely different note, I added a chatterbox! OMG! Have fun lassies/lads.
I will be staying after school tomorrow at practice for Much Ado. I think if I am going to be doing a bunch of tech stuff for it, I might as well see how they intend to block it and such.
I should pick up some candy on the way to school... Hmm...
-Bravo
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Bravo is Back! w00t!
Well, after a long lull in posting, I have decided I need to start again. Blogging seems to help me clear my mind. I enjoy this clear mind, and want to keep it. I have trouble thinking, therefore, I blog.
Resolution
I have resolved my situation with Callan. I feel foolish, because the solution is what I was fighting all along. I want to be Callan's friend, not anything more. I just felt this desire for friendship, and then I thought about it way too much. When I think about things, my mind tends to lie to itself. So, the entire time I was beating myself up about Callan, I just wanted to be her friend. Is that not foolish?
On Saturday, she and I were talking about things. Lots of things. Lots of fairly random things. I came around to telling her that the shirt I was wearing was Brian Gore's. That he and I were close friends like that. She said that she had no close friends like that. Then WAM the solution that had been with me all along unveiled itself to my mind! I wanted to be that close friend. Not necessarily share her clothes, but, whatever works... I wanted to be there for her, and try to understand her. Nothing more. I guess that I let the other loneliness cloud my mind. Never again.
I feel stupid for what I did. All of what I did. But now things are going to better. I am sure. Well, I must flee.
Farewell Friends!
-Bravo
Well, after a long lull in posting, I have decided I need to start again. Blogging seems to help me clear my mind. I enjoy this clear mind, and want to keep it. I have trouble thinking, therefore, I blog.
Resolution
I have resolved my situation with Callan. I feel foolish, because the solution is what I was fighting all along. I want to be Callan's friend, not anything more. I just felt this desire for friendship, and then I thought about it way too much. When I think about things, my mind tends to lie to itself. So, the entire time I was beating myself up about Callan, I just wanted to be her friend. Is that not foolish?
On Saturday, she and I were talking about things. Lots of things. Lots of fairly random things. I came around to telling her that the shirt I was wearing was Brian Gore's. That he and I were close friends like that. She said that she had no close friends like that. Then WAM the solution that had been with me all along unveiled itself to my mind! I wanted to be that close friend. Not necessarily share her clothes, but, whatever works... I wanted to be there for her, and try to understand her. Nothing more. I guess that I let the other loneliness cloud my mind. Never again.
I feel stupid for what I did. All of what I did. But now things are going to better. I am sure. Well, I must flee.
Farewell Friends!
-Bravo
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Wow, I really don't blog that often anymore.
I probobly should blog alot more, but, eh, I seem to enjoy playing mindless bloody games.
It seems somewhat therapuetic.
HTF is that spelled?
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
I am getting sick and tired of listening to a few select people. Mostly fools who care about politics.
Not really fools, all told. Mostly rather intelligent people who matter in my book. But I just want to live right now in peace. I can't change anything in the political world. I do not have that power. So why do people insist on bitching about every goddamned thing that happens in the world. I just want to sit back, relax, and not fail. At anything, really.
I spent ten hours on the computer Saturday. Ten hours! :O I am becoming a sad sad shell of a person. I rather enjoy it though. That was ten hours without thinking about school, or Callan, or my parents. Ten free hours. I doubt it will happen again. But it is a nice escape, in my opinion, from the inconsequential burdens of daily life that I make such a big deal out of. I am a bitch, and that is all there is to it. I need to chill out.
Odds say I won't.
Evens say the same.
Meh.
Matt.
I probobly should blog alot more, but, eh, I seem to enjoy playing mindless bloody games.
It seems somewhat therapuetic.
HTF is that spelled?
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
I am getting sick and tired of listening to a few select people. Mostly fools who care about politics.
Not really fools, all told. Mostly rather intelligent people who matter in my book. But I just want to live right now in peace. I can't change anything in the political world. I do not have that power. So why do people insist on bitching about every goddamned thing that happens in the world. I just want to sit back, relax, and not fail. At anything, really.
I spent ten hours on the computer Saturday. Ten hours! :O I am becoming a sad sad shell of a person. I rather enjoy it though. That was ten hours without thinking about school, or Callan, or my parents. Ten free hours. I doubt it will happen again. But it is a nice escape, in my opinion, from the inconsequential burdens of daily life that I make such a big deal out of. I am a bitch, and that is all there is to it. I need to chill out.
Odds say I won't.
Evens say the same.
Meh.
Matt.
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Its been a long time since I decided to post.
I have been thinking about my method of handling relationships. Basically, I think about it until I am frightened at the thought of speaking to the person. I have decided that when it comes to Callan, I really just want to be her friend. I think she is a great friend, but I don't think I have what she wants in a guy. And thats okay, really. I decided this on Wednesday. I couldn't sleep, and I realized that I was digging a masochistic hole, and there was one way to get out of it. So, I decided I was going to stop digging like a jackass. A relationship cannot go one way and work.
And now I begin to feel bad. Because I was able to dismiss her so quickly. I really don't know how I feel. I feel a bit of longing, but I think that is just your run-of-the-mill lonliness. I want to be with someone. To be cuddled, and hugged, and kissed. And to have someone who is not afraid of me. 'Cause lets face it folks: Matt is fucking wierd. Later last week, I thought that I was beginning to fall for another girl. I got mad at myself. I had just decided to remove a girl from my heart two days previous, and already I am seeking to replace her. I feel foolish. I feel shallow like a shot glass to a scuba diver. That maybe all the akward foolishness I went through that led to me never asking Callan out was in vain. Or that maybe I am not being honest with myself and using someone else to fill the hole that I longed to fill with Callan. I wish I was mature enough to not get all excited about these things. They really are not important. If there was a person who was loving me back, they would be. The way I alone feel about one person is in no way important.
So why do I make such a big deal about it?
I wish that there was someone out there that I could care for, that cared for me and was honest, with me, about it. That would be wonderful. Unless, of course, it was a guy. Then, I just get creeped out and grab a gun.
I wonder how other people do it. How they find someone... Maybe I am just not looking at people the right way. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to be loved. Honestly, I am a spaz, a fool, a freak, and a nub, all at the same time. Does that seem attractive to you? I guess... I guess it doesn't really matter what I think. The decision is going to be made on the other side of the line, I'm sure.
I think about Callan. If she wanted me to go out with her, would I? Yes! BUT then does that not prove I am an unstable jerk? Because I already decided I was going to get myself over her?
I try too hard. I try hard at schoolwork, fail, and burnout. I try hard to be part of a group, and find that no matter what I am always on the outer edge. I try hard to find a love, and end up rejected and hurt. Even with the Ka|2ma guys, I am just a nub little brother of punky, a nub little friend of SIM who they tolerate because they feel they have to.
"Yesterday I went outside, with my momma's mason jar...
Caught a lovely butterfly...
When I woke up today, looked in on my fairy pet...
She had withered all away..."
-Weezer, "Butterfly"
"Children waiting for the day they feel good;
Happy birthday... Happy birthday...
'Till they feel the way every child should;
Sit and listen... Sit and listen..."
-Gary Jules, "Mad World"
"Rollover monotone;
I've got something to say to you;
I can't speak in stero;
And I don't want you to be confused.
There's no need to analyze;
There's no need to form an affliction;
You're so bored and parylzed;
As your making another excuse.
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face in the back of this one!
Collect me monotone;
Cause I think I've fallen to pieces;
I'm so strange, you should have known;
As I lick all the salt off these wounds.
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face in the back for this one...
For this one...
For this one...
For this one...
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face and I deal with it!
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face and I deal!(For this one)
(For this one)
I'm hating myself for...
(For this one)
I want nothing more...
(For this one)
We have such a strange design..."
-Splendor, "Monotone"
I have been thinking about my method of handling relationships. Basically, I think about it until I am frightened at the thought of speaking to the person. I have decided that when it comes to Callan, I really just want to be her friend. I think she is a great friend, but I don't think I have what she wants in a guy. And thats okay, really. I decided this on Wednesday. I couldn't sleep, and I realized that I was digging a masochistic hole, and there was one way to get out of it. So, I decided I was going to stop digging like a jackass. A relationship cannot go one way and work.
And now I begin to feel bad. Because I was able to dismiss her so quickly. I really don't know how I feel. I feel a bit of longing, but I think that is just your run-of-the-mill lonliness. I want to be with someone. To be cuddled, and hugged, and kissed. And to have someone who is not afraid of me. 'Cause lets face it folks: Matt is fucking wierd. Later last week, I thought that I was beginning to fall for another girl. I got mad at myself. I had just decided to remove a girl from my heart two days previous, and already I am seeking to replace her. I feel foolish. I feel shallow like a shot glass to a scuba diver. That maybe all the akward foolishness I went through that led to me never asking Callan out was in vain. Or that maybe I am not being honest with myself and using someone else to fill the hole that I longed to fill with Callan. I wish I was mature enough to not get all excited about these things. They really are not important. If there was a person who was loving me back, they would be. The way I alone feel about one person is in no way important.
So why do I make such a big deal about it?
I wish that there was someone out there that I could care for, that cared for me and was honest, with me, about it. That would be wonderful. Unless, of course, it was a guy. Then, I just get creeped out and grab a gun.
I wonder how other people do it. How they find someone... Maybe I am just not looking at people the right way. Maybe I just don't have what it takes to be loved. Honestly, I am a spaz, a fool, a freak, and a nub, all at the same time. Does that seem attractive to you? I guess... I guess it doesn't really matter what I think. The decision is going to be made on the other side of the line, I'm sure.
I think about Callan. If she wanted me to go out with her, would I? Yes! BUT then does that not prove I am an unstable jerk? Because I already decided I was going to get myself over her?
I try too hard. I try hard at schoolwork, fail, and burnout. I try hard to be part of a group, and find that no matter what I am always on the outer edge. I try hard to find a love, and end up rejected and hurt. Even with the Ka|2ma guys, I am just a nub little brother of punky, a nub little friend of SIM who they tolerate because they feel they have to.
"Yesterday I went outside, with my momma's mason jar...
Caught a lovely butterfly...
When I woke up today, looked in on my fairy pet...
She had withered all away..."
-Weezer, "Butterfly"
"Children waiting for the day they feel good;
Happy birthday... Happy birthday...
'Till they feel the way every child should;
Sit and listen... Sit and listen..."
-Gary Jules, "Mad World"
"Rollover monotone;
I've got something to say to you;
I can't speak in stero;
And I don't want you to be confused.
There's no need to analyze;
There's no need to form an affliction;
You're so bored and parylzed;
As your making another excuse.
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face in the back of this one!
Collect me monotone;
Cause I think I've fallen to pieces;
I'm so strange, you should have known;
As I lick all the salt off these wounds.
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face in the back for this one...
For this one...
For this one...
For this one...
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face and I deal with it!
I can't handle it!
I'm intolerant!
I rip off my shirt and I deal with it!
I won't throw a fit!
I don't give a shit!
I fall flat on my face and I deal!(For this one)
(For this one)
I'm hating myself for...
(For this one)
I want nothing more...
(For this one)
We have such a strange design..."
-Splendor, "Monotone"
Thursday, January 08, 2004
I asked Callan to Belle dance.
She said she didn't plan on going.
I am going to ask her if she wants to go with me on a double date with Steve and Angela.
I meant to aske her today. I didn't really get the chance.
I see her and Zack, playing around and flirting. I really wouldn't mind if she and Zack were going out. I would feel bad, but not like this. I almost feel mad. Zack is not going to ever go out with her. He is, quite frankly, a man-whore. I see him playing with Callan and think he is just baiting her. I don't know.
I don't know what I think anymore.
Matt
She said she didn't plan on going.
I am going to ask her if she wants to go with me on a double date with Steve and Angela.
I meant to aske her today. I didn't really get the chance.
I see her and Zack, playing around and flirting. I really wouldn't mind if she and Zack were going out. I would feel bad, but not like this. I almost feel mad. Zack is not going to ever go out with her. He is, quite frankly, a man-whore. I see him playing with Callan and think he is just baiting her. I don't know.
I don't know what I think anymore.
Matt
Monday, January 05, 2004
Bravo is blogging.
Badly.
I was talking to Angela Saunders yesterday. She threatened me with castration if I did not ask Callan on the first day of school. I think she might be serious. X.o So I have even more reason to do it.
I have been thinking about why I feel for her. I have decided it is not just that she is incredibly cute. I love her voice, and how sweet she is to everyone. And her ability to participate in random acts of rubber-band ball without any shame. I also like the fact that she games. Although its not the same type of games I play. *Unreal Tournement Voice Rings Out With A Strong Baritone "HEADSHOT!!!" and Bravo dodges goo* But, then again, I do love RPG's. Just I dont have access to sexy Japenese ones. Because I have no console. But I don't feel I have to fear the exasperated starres I get from people when I say "I just spent the last seven hours playing Fallout 2." Good game by the way.
Please, help me find the holy GECK so that I may save my village!!
o.ô
Yeah. The guys at Interplay ate the brown acid. I am rambling again, aren't I? I guess one reason that I really like Callan is because she is always happy. Not that I don't love Annie, who is always sad (unfortunately) but I like that nothing gets her down. And if it does, it can most likely be shot.
º.º - What The....
ô.ô - Holy!
ô.o - What The...
•.• - Evil!
Yes.
Anyway.
Later all.
~Bravo
*Flak Cannon - BAM BAM BAM HEADSHOT!!!*
Badly.
I was talking to Angela Saunders yesterday. She threatened me with castration if I did not ask Callan on the first day of school. I think she might be serious. X.o So I have even more reason to do it.
I have been thinking about why I feel for her. I have decided it is not just that she is incredibly cute. I love her voice, and how sweet she is to everyone. And her ability to participate in random acts of rubber-band ball without any shame. I also like the fact that she games. Although its not the same type of games I play. *Unreal Tournement Voice Rings Out With A Strong Baritone "HEADSHOT!!!" and Bravo dodges goo* But, then again, I do love RPG's. Just I dont have access to sexy Japenese ones. Because I have no console. But I don't feel I have to fear the exasperated starres I get from people when I say "I just spent the last seven hours playing Fallout 2." Good game by the way.
Please, help me find the holy GECK so that I may save my village!!
o.ô
Yeah. The guys at Interplay ate the brown acid. I am rambling again, aren't I? I guess one reason that I really like Callan is because she is always happy. Not that I don't love Annie, who is always sad (unfortunately) but I like that nothing gets her down. And if it does, it can most likely be shot.
º.º - What The....
ô.ô - Holy!
ô.o - What The...
•.• - Evil!
Yes.
Anyway.
Later all.
~Bravo
*Flak Cannon - BAM BAM BAM HEADSHOT!!!*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
